depression · happiness · mood management · parenting · Self improvement

Life with S.A.D.

(Photo courtesy of http://www.barendspsychology.com)Winterdepression

Seasonal Affective Disorder.  Seasonal Depression.  Winter Blues.

Call it what you wish, it is a bag of shite.

One winter about 10 years ago I was back and forth to my GP several times for blood tests. I was constantly unwell, exhausted, irritable, unable to concentrate and increasingly fat.  I felt like an angry bear who needed to urgently hibernate lest I punch any poor human in my path.

My Vitamin D levels were low (I live in the UK…) but nothing else showed up except my symptoms which the GP decided were S.A.D.  I’ve since discovered my father suffers with it badly and my uncle has had to come to some arrangement whereby he spends 3 months abroad to prevent him hurtling into a black hole of despair every winter (either that or he’s pulling a fast one, which – if you knew my uncle – would be unsurprising).

It is a real thing though.  Here’s the NHS link for a bit more info:  https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/seasonal-affective-disorder-sad/

I find that from October through to March I am dragging myself through the days like a befuddled sloth.  I had a tiny lie-down on my daughter’s bedroom floor as she played  next to me earlier but realised that within seconds her chatter was becoming distant and dream-like and I was already wanting to doze off.  As for trying to focus on work: sheesh.  I find myself re-reading the same block of text about 5 times and my ability to problem-solve has all but eluded me.

I write this post sat next to a light box.  Apparently some studies have shown them to be as effective as anti-depressant medication in the treatment of S.A.D.  I do find it makes some difference, especially if I switch it on immediately after my alarm in the morning.  My husband really enjoys that…If you are going to try one out though, find one that is SAD certified and isn’t going to fry your retina.  Mine is about A3 paper sized by Duronic and at about £60 it does the job well enough.

I always try to get out of the house as much as possible in the winter.  I spent two days largely indoors last week because of boring adult-related tasks like car trouble and life admin and I thought I was going to lose my mind.  I was emotional, fraught, irritable and I felt like a caged beast.  I told my husband we were going out and I bundled he and the toddler into the car and headed to the beach in the drizzle.   Living by the coast, it is basically wet for about 11 months of the year (those are not official statistics but they probably could be).

We walked along the shore in the bracing cold watching sea gulls swooping in to land.  I took big lungfuls of salty air and let it blow the cobwebs away.

My husband has some mobility problems so he offered to stay with the kid while I scrambled around rock pools and bounded around the shore like an excitable puppy.  I took this photo during a break from the drizzle.

Drizzly beach walk.jpeg

It’s still a majestic, spiritual place to me, the beach – no matter the season.  I  went home pink-nosed and far more energised.

I spent as much time as possible outside yesterday and noticed the difference in the baby’s mood.  She was more cheerful, far less tantrumy (that’s not a word but it should be) and she went to bed smiling.

So that’s going to have to be my strategy for the next 5 months:  get out.  Every day, anywhere, just out.  If I find myself wanting to crawl under the desk for a snooze: I will get outside, even if just for a walk around the block.

This too shall pass, my S.A.D. friends.

Does anyone else out there have any pearls of wisdom they can impart about managing their mood in the winter?

2 thoughts on “Life with S.A.D.

  1. In full agreement that SAD is shite. Hardest part for me is waking up to constant overcast grey skies. I think I’d rather have snow; at least it reflects some light back into my eyes. I find staying as active as I can through the winter months helps. However, I don’t like walking in foul weather; so i keep a gym membership and aim to do a routine three mornings a week. On bright days though, I try to get outside. I also use a lightbox for at least half an hour every morning. I have to be mindful of any pull to sit or lie down as it’s all too easy to sink down mood wise, and then not be able to think of anything to do, even though there is plenty to do. I have to force myself to get up and just do something, anything! Once I’m going, things generally improve.

    All the best with your own winter struggle. :0)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi, thank you so much for your comment and taking the time out to respond.

      I would definitely prefer snow. Standing in snow with outside noise on mute has a lovely ethereal quality. The relentless rain is far less appealing!

      Good work on the regular gym visits – exercise makes such a difference and I’ve been finding it hard to fit it in to daily life but I really need to. Thanks for the kick up the arse.

      Have a good (ish?) winter!

      Liked by 1 person

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